Abort73.com / Feedback / Abortion Regrets / August 20, 2012
Abortion Regret: August 20, 2012
Personal testimonies from women (and men) who have gone through an abortion.
This abortion story came to Abort73 through our online submission form and was received from Upstate New York on August 20, 2012.
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Post Abortion Syndrome isn’t reserved just for women, I have been dealing with my experience for 34 years. I personally killed two beautiful children. How do I know they were beautiful? Because the third one died in my arms and the fourth is now 21, and a handsome young man. They were all beautiful, I know it. Late 1970s, Upstate NY: my parents went out of town; my grandparents with whom we lived were in Florida on vacation. My grandfather was a minister, Methodist, and my mother and father were not active in the church. My girlfriend was older and maybe more experienced than me. I was a virgin. We got pregnant that night and found out weeks later. She was a Catholic teenager and couldn’t bear the thought of having a baby. I was scared too. We went 50 miles away to Spring Valley where for $200 we paid for the [abortion]. I remember the outside of the building and the inside also, clearly. I remember the drive home, quiet. I remember no bath for her for two weeks. The bleeding, no sex, the quiet shame.
Then a year or so later it happened again. Quiet. Then more people around me had abortions, friends and family. Quietly. I remember and wonder, calculate their ages and imagine. Time went by. I got married and we had a beautiful boy in 1990. In 1997, she got pregnant, had trouble because of me I think, and delivered two months early. In treatment for blood pressure he had a brain hemorrhage, and lived in neo-natal ICU for almost a week. We had to choose to take him off life support and hold him until he passed. It took hours and changed every hour of the rest of my life. I saw him look right into my eyes as they lifted him out of the unit and put him in my arms. The other two were just like him I am sure. I remember the smell of the plastic tubes, like celery, and the room around me. Nice nurses doing this every day. I couldn’t. We buried him next to my father in law. Compartmentalize your emotions and thoughts, and you will be OK they say. I don’t think so. Thirty-four years later. Still the same…
Abortion is pre-meditated murder. I know.
Location: Upstate New York
Date: August 20, 2012