Abort73.com > Feedback > Abortion Stories > February 8, 2014

#abortionstories @abort73


Abortion Story: Massachusetts

Submitted to Abort73 by a 22-year-old woman on February 8, 2014


It was the second quarter of my freshman year of university, and I was flourishing. I had amazing friends, earned top grades, and was the happiest I'd ever been. Long story short, I went to meet a friend in the middle of the big city nearby and got lost. I pulled over in a dark parking lot, thinking if I parked behind buildings, I'd be out of sight. Before I knew it, a middle aged man with a knife opened my driver's side door that I'd foolishly left unlocked as I was fiddling with my GPS. I was, indeed, out of sight from any passerby. I was raped. I was so ashamed and blamed myself so completely, that it took me three days to muster up the courage to call a rape hotline. The woman on the other end of the line told me, gently, that going to the police would probably be futile, given that I'd washed myself so thoroughly. I probably couldn't figure out how to direct them to the crime scene, and so much time had passed.

Fast forward to two months later. I was failing my courses, put on academic probation, and went to the South for winter break. My mother and I went to my gynecologist’s office in my hometown because I thought my lack of periods and gastrointestinal issues meant I had another cyst. I discovered I was pregnant and being unable to stop crying, told my mother.

My parents insisted I get an abortion once I returned to school—or they'd disown me. They told me adoption wasn't an option because it wasn't worth the "humiliation" and "heartbreak" they would have to endure. I remember my mother telling me that a rapist's spawn didn't deserve to live. I remember thinking that baby was half of me and was completely blameless, but I said nothing.

Upon returning to school, I had the procedure. At the first appointment, they showed me the ultrasound, and I heard the heartbeat. One of my friends was outraged that they had done that, but I didn't realize how much it would impact me at the time.

After the procedure, I was kicked out of school and told I could re-apply the following quarter, but I never did. I cried constantly, struggled with suicidal thoughts, and fell deep into heroin addiction. I'd never so much as smoked pot prior to my abortion.

I'm finally clean now, but my abortion still haunts me. A year and a half ago, I experienced a miscarriage, which my OB said was partly due to the heavy scarring from my hack-job abortion. I think about both of those babies constantly. I wonder who they'd be, how different life as a mother would be, etc. I pray every night that I will someday be able to conceive and carry to term, despite my scarring and fertility issues. I wear a silver pendant around my neck with a quote from E.E. Cummings that I haven't taken off since I bought it. It reads: "I carry your heart with me. I carry it in my heart. I am never without it.”

To those considering abortion, even if you are a survivor of sexual assault, PLEASE think long and hard about your decision, and do not allow anyone else to make that choice for you. It is your own, and you will have to live with it for as long as you live.

Age: 22
Location: Massachusetts
Date: February 8, 2014

Get Help

If you’re pregnant and contemplating abortion, what a mercy that you’ve found this website! Abortion is not the answer—no matter what anyone is telling you.

Click here to find local help.

Click here for hundreds of real-life abortion stories.

Click here if you've already had an abortion.

Get Involved

Abortion persists because of ignorance, apathy and confusion. Abort73 is working to change that; you can help! Get started below:

Indifference is Deadly

Social Media Graphics:

Post them online to introduce your friends, fans or followers to Abort73.com.

Defend the Cause of the Weak and the Fatherless

Abort73 Shirts:

Be a walking billboard for Abort73.com.

Love Lets Live

Abort73 Promo Cards:

Stash some in your wallet or purse and be ready to hand them out or strategically leave them behind.

There is Nothing Tolerant About Killing the Weak and the Helpless.

Support Abort73

Abort73 is part of Loxafamosity Ministries, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. We are almost entirely supported by private donations—all of which are tax-deductible. Click here to make a contribution.

Giving Assistant is another way to raise money for Abort73 at thousands of online retailers. Use this link to get started.